I have faced the feeling of not being good enough for most of my life. Sometimes the feeling is more intense than others. Through introspection I think I may have nailed down the reasons behind my intense feelings of not being good enough. These feelings were a protective shield that prevented me from facing my fears. They were, in essence preventing me from being happy.
When I come to this point of realization, then I start to contemplate what will make me happy. This can be a very scary place to go. It requires doing things outside of my comfort zone. I know that getting a job and being around more people will boost my spirits as well as my finances. I would love to pursue writing, as it has always been a love of mine, but just an elusive dream. I know this is not an easy dream to pursue, and there will be a lot of rejection ahead.
I came up with a million excuses to not be able to do these things that I knew would make me happier. I can’t get a job because I haven’t worked in 10 years. I can’t get a job because I don’t have any one to help watch the kids during breaks and the summer. I can’t pursue the writing because it’s such a crapshoot. There are so many people with something to say, who would want to read what I have to say? There is so much rejection in the writing world. I can sense the failure already. And the biggest reason that will make me feel “not good enough” is failure.
Yet if I am real with myself I realize that past failures give me the strength to know that I can go on. The gift of failure is that it helps us to grow. Failing is NOT the worst thing that can happen to me. Never having tried what my heart yearns to do is the worst thing that can happen!
So, what is holding you back? What are your fears? Be honest with yourself. Open yourself up to the possibilities. Grab life by the horns. We only have one life to live. Who wants to live with the “what ifs”?