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Should Kids Be Allowed to Lose?

awards          Recently it has been proposed here in Canada that a certain University remove the Dean’s List since the students who do not make it on the Dean’s List may suffer psychological repercussions.  Naturally, this is the next step after handing out trophies for just attending a sports programme and the fact that there are reported incidents of grade inflation going on in the schools. This leaves us with a coddled generation who feels entitled to the best life has to offer without putting in the necessary effort.

            Just showing up for a sports programme does not deserve a reward.  Being part of a team could earn a commemorative ribbon or pin, but each person has not earned the right to a trophy.  When little Johnny comes home and says that he didn’t get anything out of his sports programme because he didn’t get a trophy, the parent can reassure Johnny that he did indeed get something.  Johnny learned a new skill and he most likely improved in that skill.  My dear Johnny, you don’t always need to win, but learning something new and improving is very important.  You have also learned that you will not always be the best in life.  But, that’s O.K.  As long as you did YOUR best.

              Teachers have confessed to grade inflation in schools.  A certain grade point average has to be met in order to receive sufficient funding.  This results in college/university students who feel entitled to a “B” just for attending class.  If they don’t get the mark they expect on a test they argue with their teacher, “But I studied for that!”  They fully expect their teacher to up their grade on the basis that they studied.

            This makes Sally feel that she is entitled to that job she applied for.  “Have you not seen my resume?  It’s outstanding!  I am known for regular attendance and doing background work (even if it’s not always right, at least I do it!).”

            Making mistakes is a part of learning.  When we make a mistake, hopefully we will remember what the correct solution was and in this way we have progressed in our learning.  But, if we don’t teach our children that mistakes are ok, how are they going to progress in life?  They will fall apart the first time they are told that they did something wrong.

            Now they want to remove the Dean’s List so that some students won’t suffer self-esteem issues because they don’t make the list?  Shouldn’t they already know that they are not always going to be on the top?  Have they not learned that we will lose more than we win in life?  Of course not because they have always had that trophy handed to them, or the grade bumped up for them.  Now we must take away the next obstacle for their narcissistic personality to continue blooming.

We are living in a society where everything is too easy.  We can access anything at the tips of our fingers via the Internet and cell phones.  Credit cards make it easy to purchase things we cannot really afford.  This creates the need for more.  Happiness becomes elusive, as it is always just 10% more than we have.  We look for quick fixes in all areas of life.

How about teaching the younger generation the three “P’s”—Patience, persistence and perseverance?  Life is a journey, not a race.  We will not always win, but we must keep going, learning from our mistakes and moving on with our head held high knowing that we have done the best we could with the talents we have received.

Just for Today

As we are about to begin a new week, I was reminded of this quote I had taped in my gratitude journal.  I would read this every morning as I started my day, and at the end of the day I would take stock and write down 5 things I was thankful for that day.   It is amazing how such a small thing can have such a huge impact on how you see your day and your life!  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

I will live through the next 12 hours and not try to tackle all of life’s problems at once.

I will try to improve my mind.  I will learn something useful.

I will learn something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

I will be agreeable.

I will look my  best, speak in a well-modulated voice, be courteous and considerate.

I will not find fault with my friends, relatives or colleagues.

I will try not to change or improve anyone but myself.

I will have a programme.  I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it.

I will save myself from my two enemies–hurry and indecision.

I will do a good turn and keep it a secret.  If anyone finds out, it won’t count.

I will do two things I don’t want to do, just for the exercise.

I will believe in myself.

I will give my best to the world and feel confident that the world will give its best to me.

Wishing everyone a great Monday and a wonderful week!

Facing Your Fears

blonde_female_hide_her_face_behind_her_hand

I have faced the feeling of not being good enough for most of my life.  Sometimes the feeling is more intense than others.  Through introspection I think I may have nailed down the reasons behind my intense feelings of not being good enough.  These feelings were a protective shield that prevented me from facing my fears.  They were, in essence preventing me from being happy.

When I come to this point of realization, then I start to contemplate what will make me happy.  This can be a very scary place to go.  It requires doing things outside of my comfort zone.  I know that getting a job and being around more people will boost my spirits as well as my finances.  I would love to pursue writing, as it has always been a love of mine, but just an elusive dream.  I know this is not an easy dream to pursue, and there will be a lot of rejection ahead.

I came up with a million excuses to not be able to do these things that I knew would make me happier.  I can’t get a job because I haven’t worked in 10 years.  I can’t get a job because I don’t have any one to help watch the kids during breaks and the summer.  I can’t pursue the writing because it’s such a crapshoot.  There are so many people with something to say, who would want to read what I have to say?  There is so much rejection in the writing world.  I can sense the failure already.  And the biggest reason that will make me feel “not good enough” is failure.

Yet if I am real with myself I realize that past failures give me the strength to know that I can go on.  The gift of failure is that it helps us to grow.  Failing is NOT the worst thing that can happen to me.  Never having tried what my heart yearns to do is the worst thing that can happen!

So, I have taken the plunge.  Faced my fears.  Applied for the job. Got the job!  WooHoo.  That’s a real boost to the self-confidence.  I have registered for a writing course to start next week.jumping joypossible

So, what is holding you back?  What are your fears?  Be honest with yourself.  Open yourself up to the possibilities.  Grab life by the horns.  We only have one life to live.  Who wants to live with the “what ifs”?

Priorities

wallkingNow that the kids are back in school, I feel like I can get into some form of a routine. My first mission is to establish regular daily exercise. (#1 on the “Tips for a Beautiful Life” list) My exercise of choice is walking. I love being outdoors feeling the sun recharge my tired spirit as the breeze caresses my body. As I move on, I begin to feel my blood flow as my muscles engage, helping to wake up my entire being.

It really is amazing how just a bit of exercise can have such a huge impact on your day. My otherwise sluggish mind feels rejuvenated and ready to go. From past experience I know that I will have more energy as the day progresses. My motivation to get things done will be magnified. Since I get more done, I will feel a greater sense of accomplishment which will make me happier.  I will sleep better, which will provide more energy for tomorrow.

So, why do I fall out of this routine if I know it will have such a huge impact on my day-to-day performance as well as on my health? Life gets in the way. I don’t make myself a priority. I have so many other things that need to get done. There are so many excuses in my arsenal, it is shameful. From today on, no more excuses! I am worth the time. There is nothing else more important than my walk. This will be my mantra whenever one of those nasty excuses pops up in my brain. My daily walk will be #1 on my priority list..

Tips for a Beautiful Life

 thomas kinkade 2

I recently came across a quotation that is very inspirational and motivational to me.  I believe that I need to work on many of these issues on a constant, daily basis.  I plan to print this out and read it every day in order to empower myself in all areas of my life.

I find that maintaining balance in my life is one of the most difficult things to maintain.  I am hoping that this will help me focus and work on the issues consistently.

The following is a copy of the quotation I found:

AWESOME TIPS FOR BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!!canary-2

1    Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. While you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.
2     Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3     When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God’s
guidance for your purpose, today.
4     Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
5     Drink green tea and plenty of water.

6     Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
7     Try to make at least three people smile each day.
8     Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past,
negative thoughts or things you cannot control.  Instead invest your energy in the present moment.
9     Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.
10    Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
11    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for
everything!
12    Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
13    You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
14    Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
15    Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
16    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
17    Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years,
will this matter?’indian_peafowl
18    Help the needy, be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’
19    What other people think of you is none of your business.
20    Time heals everything.
21    However good or bad a situation is it will change.
22    Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends will. Stay in touch.
23    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
24    Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and be thankful
for what you’ll accomplish, today!
25    Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.                                                                                 

 I will try to implement one of these tips each day over the next month, and blog my thoughts on the individual tip and how it applies to me.  Any input from anyone else out there would be greatly appreciated.  Maybe someone would care to join me and share thoughts/actions that occur…